Fours years can rush by you like a freight train.
Fast, exquisite and full of surprises along the way!
Wow.....having boys is kinda like boarding a train unaware of your end destinations and experiencing amazing adventures along the way!
When we got married I was extremely sick. I had endometriosis. A very annoying, painful and a full stop to fertility! I was quite sick, my iron counts were drastically low. The specialist put me on a wait list for a surgery that would hopefully alleviate symptoms and clear out the pipes so to speak.
This surgery was successful and we conceived within three weeks after. Just prior to us finding out that we were in fact pregnant, I wound up in Emergency....turns out you can tear muscles in your heart by over lifting and over working and yes it can mimic a heart attack..yikes that was fun.
About two weeks later I was sick, moody (beyond all measure MEAN!!!!!!!!!). Sean wanted me to take a pregnancy stick. I thought he was nuts! LOL. So one night he finally convinced me to just indulge him. He gathered up all our change in our apartment. (If you know Sean at all, change is not something he pays with. He cannot stand paying in change! LOL) Turns out we were in fact pregnant....so I had to apologize. LOL
This was the first pregnancy since my emergency with Raven. I had so many fears for my health, for my family and for the outcome!
I had real terror fears as well. For you see my biological mother married when I was 4 years old. When she had my sister my step dad was a different man....will not go into details but there was many traumas heart ache and violence. So having a second child, and Raven was just over 4 and the fears enveloped me with a grip I had never knew was even there. Giving me horrible night mares!
A wise and kind, and caring women from the church where Sean grew up had told me that she once got the similar nightmares, fears and they griped her so tightly. She told me to give it to the Lord, each time I awoke to shout it out, cry it out and give it to the Lord.
The struggles I was internally facing I brought to the Lord! The Lord brought me right back to my husband! The Lord showed me to give it all up. To let my husband be what He had created him to be. My shelter, my strength, my shield and my protection, my comforter and my rock.
What I didn't know was how this heart change was going to be a blessing in the coming months and years!
Our pregnancy was going wonderfully well. I felt like a million bucks. I was healthy, happy and loved. I could walk long distances, work hard ( I was a store manager for a Plus Sized High end Fashion store, which meant I did a lot of merchandising and sooooo much more).
This was my problem was that I did feel that good. With Ray's pregnancy at the same time I had not been well. So I tended to be stubborn and over did a lot of things when I should have sat I sped walked. When I should have stopped flipping my store over in a day and taken a few days....I was quite (and am stubborn) :).
During this time I had a few family issues that warrented grave emotions, scariness almost lost my beautiful little sister and my unborn nephew...soooo scary. And various other things that were extremely stressful but not worth naming!
This resulted in our first scare. I was about 30 weeks along and while merchandising I managed to hurt myself. I didn't think much at the moment but with in the hour I was having severe sharp pains. I had my p/t gal take over while I went to the washroom. The amount of fluid that wasn't stopping was cause for alarm. So I immediately went back to my store, in great pain and told my p/t gal to go home. For you see I am not good with other people helping me or touching me or looking at me when I am in pain. Well, this sweet, gentle, caring women (was well my senior) knew something was wrong so after a few stern words and she made me spill my guts.
Then made me call the mat ward at the hospital. When they told me to come in then she called her husband to come give us a ride. In my stubbornness I convinced her that we had to wait until I closed down my store. I couldn't just close down! She succumbed as long as I sat still until close and she would work for me. Then I called Sean......you would never know it at the time but he was fearful as well.
Turns out I did over do it. I tore my water bag and was leaking minimally but enough for those doctors to send me for bed rest. Again, I was a store manager and I was not set for mat leave for another ten weeks. I had no replacement because head office hadn't started looking.
My boss convinced me, (much to my husbands complete annoyance and angry faces) to stay for two weeks, to give them time for a replacement. In that time, I wrote a complete training manual for the computer operations, how to run my store, how the back room was supposed to be. I included diagrams and everything. (Can you tell sitting still isn't for me??) I also did their sales goals for the entire year, made up a draft schedule for 6 months. I did all of their cleaning schedule's and Product knowledge nights all up for them.
Then it was on bed rest......not something I can do well! So, we had already predetermined that I would be homeschooling our daughter, for her kindergarten year in September. The preschool she was attending had concerns (Unwarranted) about her learning. So In this time, while on bed rest I chose to homeschool her in a second go around with the pre school curriculum. Which was a blessing and a gift to have had this opportunity to do. It was the first time I had not worked. I had time to indulge in the cuddle time, the togetherness and the loving relationship between mother and daughter. It was purely a gift from God, to gift us that time before adding a brother to the mix.
At 35 weeks I had started to spot and go into labour......after a week of on again off again hard labour...(much to the hospitals confusion about why) the labour stopped. What did start was my elevated blood pressure. Immediately I went in. The first doctor I saw agreed with me and my concerns and suggested inducing labour. Unfortunately the on call doctor disagreed and sent me home. Much to the absolute disgust of the nurses (for you see my blood pressure was high). A few days later I went back to the mat clinic. This doctor said its not that elevated...grrrrrr After all that I went through with Raven, and these doctors know my history......needless to say I was not impressed but after 5 doctors and getting no where. I waited....and waited. On my due date, which is September 1 and my dads birthday. I had a check up the doctor tried to break the membrances. He could not do it. My cervix was far and tilted. He explained that he thought I would be overdue. Not to worry after 7 days they will induce me. Ugh......
So that night we hit KFC for some comfort food. My dear hubby got spicy chicken.....
At 5 am on September 2 I had pain....but I didn't know if it was labour or just something else. So I waited. By 630am my contractions were 5 mins apart and medium strength! I woke Sean up, he called Papa and we got Raven ready. All of a sudden the contractions went form medium I can take it strength to over drive rip your hair from its roots I cant do it drive! Sean called Papa again told him it might be sooner...we got into the car. A car with no shocks, driving down a driveway in the middle of 22acres, no pavement and gravel road....oh the bumps! Then we come to a light....no once is with in miles of this intersection....I am not so nice and tell Sean to drive through it....he is quite a goody goody so he waited! GRRRR. Raven was trying to tell it was ok, that this pain was normal....(you see she was five, and her and I had watched those birthing shows to get ready) Mama its all good. While rubbing my back. This is good pain member this means Malachi is coming soon!
I tried but I believe I snapped and asked her not to touch me. We finally made it to the hospital....it was a 25min drive from our home. I asked Sean to get me a wheel chair...the only one he could find was a tall back wire chair....I am not a small woman I am plus sized and this narrow wire crazy chair set me OOFFFFFF! So I bawled, crying weeping I was tooo fat for this chair....Raven trying to be oh so sweet and tell me I am beautiful and am not fat I am having a baby! Sean telling me I am radiant and he loves me I am gorgeous...this did nothing for me,....I walked in and went straight upstairs. Immediately the nurses hooked me up...Then they called the mat doctor on call and the specialist...my blood pressure was just below 200/108, my contractions were off the charts. They needed to know what drugs to give me and how much. They were flabbergasted at why my contractions with minimal dilation were coming that fast and that hard.
They gave me the gas, prepped me for an epidural and finally started administering blood pressure meds (although there was much confusion between the specialist, nurses and back and forth as to how much to give me....they ended up over dosing me). Finally the man with the needle came...they wanted me to scrunch. Five times they could not get that needle in..Sean was not looking well. The nurse peeled my hand off of his shirt and he went to the bathroom needless to say to spare details, spicy chicken the night before and profound emotional circumstance bode horrifying results on a first time dad!
Finally the epidural was in and the bp meds were keeping me in the 180's range....the pain was not gone but I could breathe.....at 1030am the doctor came into explain that we were going to need to help malachi out. When I hit 10cm and what not they would be using a vacuum to help get him out. He was not fully where he needed to be but we needed him to come. We agreed. at 1130am the end was near the pain was the most excruciating pain I have ever endured! The epidural at this point seem useless. I started to feel woozy. Then he was coming. Push no stop pushing. The cord was wound around his neck! Push no Push. Finally he came out. He needed his lungs and tummy pumped because he had gone to the washroom. But other wise beautifully healthy...
The world started to lose focus. All the sounds were magnified. Sean was sitting across from me holding our beautiful baby....the doctor kept talking in rushed voices to the nurses...I need a scale and a pail....now! Then I lost focus, slipped away for a moment. I opened my eyes, they were weighing blot clots...they look the size of a desert plate...Then is when I heard them ask Sean if he would go in the other room, he could take malachi no problem. They both looked at me. The nurse said just be careful where you step you don't want to slip....
(I later found out my blood covered 85% of the labour floor, they were awaiting someone to clean it up)
I felt weird, like not there but there...so much weighing I felt wet I felt cold I felt numb...What was happening.....I was not able to be moved. So I stayed in the same bed I gave birth in until 630pm this is when I was stabilized enough to be moved two doors down to a private room directly across from the nurses. First I had to be moved to the next bed. This is when we found out I had lost all movement in my legs. I couldn't move them or even feel them. They had to switch off the machines in order to transport me to the next bed. In the new room....the nurses just had gotten new machines for the iv's that day......only one nurse knew how to use it completely. This is when the turned on the machines and had to shoot some saline into my iv to move the liquid through..
I lost control of all body, my body raged writhing, bouncing the seizure lasted what seemed a life time. I could not stop my body. I was a prisoner in the mass of hysteria that was my body...I was terrified. Finally, it stopped. Now I had 5 nurses around my bed. Sean and Malachi off to the left and I now refused all medical services, screaming at them. I did not want anyone touching me....took awhile but they convinced me.....then I had another seizure. I asked Sean to pray over me. To praise God for getting my through it. Finally, it all calmed down. The nurses stood silently while he prayed. They gave us that moment and space. It was so needed.
Sean had a migraine so horrid, the nurses gave him some medicine and told him to lie in the bed next to me. I had a 24 hour nurse. I, still attempted breast feeding. He took no problem but was not much hungry. I awoke in the middle of the night, Malachi and his bed were missing...after repeatedly hitting the button for what seemed endless turns out the nurse gave him his first bath and a bottle and changed him.
The clots continued. Day four I regained numbness in my legs! Sean was working my legs each day to help me. I refused all formula and breast fed and changed my beautiful baby. Sean changed his little bottom when I couldn't. They were wanting to do a transfusion but didn't want to attempt it. I had a lot of meds. Day 5 there was a blessing, I may go home tomorrow. I could now stand with Sean's help. I could even pee all by myself. The clots went from a dinner plate down to desert plate again. and were shrinking. Optimistic.
Day 6- Home! Finally Praise the Lord!
Slept, showered and was content in the gift of life! Day 7 we went to church. To praise God and to give thanks. Day 8 we started homeschooling for kindergarten.
The reason why the problems: I had surgery from my endiometeriosis, I was not healed at all when we conceived. Malachi's placenta knit its way into my incisions. Thus, when he was coming out he was tearing out my insides essentially and simply put! Praise the Lord, we had him vaginally! Praise the Lord each of us made it through! He had also pooped before I went into labour and the umblical chord was wrapped around his neck. My blood pressure emergency was due to the doctors not properly identifying the symptoms when I told them to. I should have been induced or on medications. Praise the Lord for all whom helped us during that time.
The same day I went into labour Seans Great Grandfather had been admitted to the Hospital in the ICU! Praise the Lord for his dedicated and amazing wife. (whom we named our third child's middle name after) and staff and he was able to go home! We were able to have five generations of men for my husbands side of the family photographs! Praise the Lord!
Nothing is impossible, with God!
We had many medical emergencies in the coming months. But alas another day!
Thank you for sharing in Malachi's birth story!
May you be blessed, encouraged and be equally so to those around you!