Good Afternoon

Good Afternoon
Photographer, Shelly Boyd

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Since when is 2 years supposed to fly by so quickly???????

It’s amazing how two years can speed past like a locomotive! 
After my endometriosis surgery in 2008 I was able to conceive our second child a boy. (His birth story coming up at the end of August! )  After the emergencies of that labour and delivery, the postpartum issues, and all that entails the doctors explained that I should be able to conceive again but…….if my cysts were to return that the chances of conceiving would be minimal at best.
So we gave it to God and let Him have it. Our second child was 14 months old, we were caught in the middle of a heated court case with my biological mother and living in a fifth wheel trailer on my father’s homestead on the reserve. I was working at our Band School as a Receptionist/lunch lady/supervisor/everything that needed to be done!  My cheque was small and had to feed, clothe and house two adults and two children.  Needless to say that conceiving a baby was not high on our list of worries. Although, we were wondering why hadn’t we conceived yet….our second child was nearing 14 months old, an age where most women are already pregnant again(provided they are not on birth control of some sort).  *1*
Then it happened, a cyst! I had the worst horrible pains, pains that sent lightening bolts from my toes into the top of my skull. Our vehicle wasn’t working and so my dad had to drive me to the diagnostic centre in our town.  Going down the property, rocks, bumps sent me into a wave of nausea and extreme pain. It was like having someone take an exacto knife from the inside and cut your muscles in long strokes. 
The doctor gave me a shot, and a few pills to help me get through the rest of what was happening. The cyst was going to burst and when it did the pills would take the excruciating pain and ease it! This also would cause me to be extremely loopy, drowsy and make me sleep for about 12 hours. Then two days of harsh flu like symptoms and then it would be all over…..
I was devastated. I was afraid. I did not want to go through having endometriosis again……..I also started to grieve, rail, anger, and finally got down on my knees.
“God, if this is the end of me being able to have babies, it is your will! I trust that you know whats best for me, for us and for our family! You have seen us through so much already, I know that whatever will be, you will let it be for the best of us and me! Although, I am angry and sad, I am going to trust you. We made a promise, a covenant that we will trust you for the size of our family, we give it to you and now I am going to restart my heart and renew with the same.  We are blessed with the two miracles that we have. We are blessed with eachother and we are blessed to have you guiding our lives. So I give it all to you!”
The next few weeks passed and I started having dizzy spells, nausea, aches and pains…all of which I chaulked up to my renewal  endometriosis. All of the same symptom’s as being pregnant for me.
Although, I had a renewed sense of faith, a renewed sense of peace, a renewed love for God and God’s will in my life!
An elder of our band and I were talking…I still remember her sweet face, the knowing smile, the way she laughed and said, “Stacey your pregnant!”  I still remember laughing it off and patting her hand and explaining what endometriosis meant for my body. And the way she dismissed my explanation with an all knowing smile and left it at that.  That being said, my hubby decided that was enough for him, he bought me a test! So on Dec. 15th, 2010, Grandmothers birthday the stick came up as positive.
At first, confusion, baffled and then plain old stunned..this couldn’t be! I had a cyst, I I I I….then my hubby with tears in his eyes said, “Not I, Not We but God!” Praise the Lord for another blessing!
We chose to go with a midwife this time. I had enough of doctor’s and all that surrounded that. (when I write about Malachi’s birth, you will understand!) So we found Willow Community Midwives in Penticton and were able to get in to see them.
I have to say I have never felt more comfortable, or that birth was such a natural happy time. After one hour appointment I was at ease and comfortable. Until, I had to go and get “approved” for midwifery care, that was scary but all in all I was with my midwives for my prenatal care. I was able to get to know each one of the four midwives at the office. I was able to trust, and get to know each one. They let me talk out all of my fears with them, they gave me valuable advice on how to deal with each fear, pain and what not! Now, they also gave all of this to me without having to ever say, “here’s a pill!” they are highly educated on natural ways of easing all sorts of things, they are highly educated with how to deal with so many wonderful things. I felt always important and heard. I was validated and listened to.
Our midwives were excellent when it came to my modesty at all times, they were attentive to all of the things we were not going to do with our baby and our pregnancy. They were amazing with research and knowledge to back up their opinion and advice! They were always my advocate, my voice and in turn I trusted them with my life and they life growing with in me!
Prenatal care with Willow Community Midwives, was and is my most valuable relationship between them and us! If I can help it, I will chose to always have this amazing group of women always be in charge of my prenatal, labour and post natal!
At 36 weeks gestastion, my blood pressure was sitting at 100/80 and would not budge….so we had to be checked out by a specialist. Now, my midwives were pro’s. They were my voice, my advocate, my champions. They made sure that the maternity ward was well aware of my modesty, my privacy and our religious beliefs. They made sure that everything I went through was explained in detail. They were loving, caring, nurturing and direct when needed. They kept my hubby always in the loop with every single large or minute detail!  I had to go onto some mild blood pressure meds. This scared me so much, but having the midwives and a really understanding specialist, I was at ease. We informed them if needed we will be induced at any time! The health of the baby and me was first and foremost!  They said that was good if we needed to but they felt perfectly at ease.
At 37 weeks, I felt like my water was leaking…I had a lot of fluid…went in got check out. Turns out I had gotten a very routine mild infection and needed to take some antibiotics, the specialist checked me out as well and decided to induce but she wanted to wait till I was 38 weeks.  The midwives were amazing. They were so awesome, even when I called a hundred times….for every small thing that at the time seemed so big. They were gentle and kind and reassuring, even letting me come into be checked even when I know it was to only ease my mind. They were such amazing people, to care and to really take care in this way. I have never had that ever!
It was explained that I had to take it easy, because this particular weekend there would be not maternity staff on at the hospital. If I needed I would be transferred to Kelowna where my midwives would meet me there…..Both Sean and I did not want that! No Way! No Sir! No How! So for the weekend I remained a vegetable sitting, waiting….it was the longest 48 hours ever!  No on Monday, I was scheduled to get this labor started at 10am. So, that morning I, did everything I could to help it along. I also had a half an hour bath so I felt refreshed, clean and ready!
We got to the hospital and by the time they checked me I was already three centimeters dilated! J They tried to break the waters but It did not work out so wonderful! So hooked up on monitors and and iv and then to just wait! It was nice, to know that in a few hours we would be holding our baby! That this was going to be right now that I was in good hands that I was with people that had my best interests at heart. To know that I was surrounded with amazing people was Gods gift to me!  The labour started with in the hour or so, I was frustrated because I had to be on the monitors, thankfully  my midwives kept coming in and taking them off so I could go pee, walk around…..after lunch it kicked in and the contractions  were wonderfully and painfully hard!
I was able to sing hymns through most of the contractions…and then they broke my water….whoa nelly that was hard but the midwives were there, comforting, supporting. My wonderful Hubby was there helping, comforting, laughing trying to make me feel at ease! I went to go pee, tried different positions, and then went back to lay in the bed. Then the pain was more than I could take. I felt useless, I felt that I was weak, and not able to handle this. This was not going to work. No way this normal childbirth is for me. Lord, help me. I cannot do this. I cant I cant I cant I cant…..Sean looked at me and told me it was ok that I get some meds. That I didn’t need to do this naturally. It was ok. From where he was standing, he cannot believe I was as strong as I was thus far….because he could never endure pain like this! So, I opted for the needle to relieve some of the pain….minutes later my midwives came in and there was no way I could take it anymore…GIVE ME THE DRUGS!  Still praying for God to grant me reprieve from the horrendous pain, sad and more sad, because I really wanted to go all the way with no drugs…..the nurse looked at me, they explained there would be a few minutes to get the medicine.  Then the pain, hard, forceful…..where is the pain Stacey? In my mind I was like, really where do you think it is….lol but I communicated nicely….then the midwives checked me, smiling, and said you are ready no time for those drugs….your baby is coming…..
In an instant, God stepped in and wrapped me with His arms of strength and mercy and courage….no other explanation can explain what happened and what came over me…God gave me what I could bare and then took me the rest of the way.  Now, after I was terrified, for with our second child I had blood clots…..the biggest was the size of a serving dinning plate…so naturally when my first pee came around and there were clots I freaked out….my midwives were there (literally in the bathroom) to wipe away my fear tears, to explain, to reassure, to hold my hand and make sure I was ok. I will never ever forget what compassion, what amazing women these midwives are! The best care I have ever had in my life!
Naturally, our baby girl came into this world. Naturally, our child the beautiful baby she was healthy, and beautiful. We praised the Lord, for the gift that was given. I praised the Lord, for the Lord showed me more in those hours than anything I have learned in any other expierence. He gave me strength, he gave me love, He gave me mercy, He gave me endurance, He gave me will power, He gave me perseverance, He gave me His word and He Delivered.
No emergency, No worries, No long hospital stay! Miraculous! 24 hours later we were back at home and enjoying family, and friends.
Our midwives were amazing. Post natal care was phenomenal!  Even when I called every few days about this little fear or that. They answered each and every time with patience, encouragement and grace!
God gifted me these women! God gifted the exact everything that I had needed. I am blessed and humbled by what God has shown me and gifted to me!
Thank you to my husband, whom is loving, caring and stern when needed!
Thank you to Ally and Michelle for being there all the way!
Thank you to our friends that watched our two gorgeous children!
Thank you for reading how our beautiful Zara was born!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Nine Years......speed past us so FAST!!!!!!!!!!

Miracle, beauty, pain, exhaustion, bliss, and terror.........................

For the record, I was not a born again Christian at this time in my life, nor was I married. God used this miracle as the foundations to a faith that would later become my strongest relationship and the greatest of all loves that I had ever known.

Nine years ago today at 130pm I was sitting in the waiting room of the specialist. I had blown up 100 lbs in just under 6 weeks. I was exhausted, I was in such pain..............I get into the room, after they analyzed my urine and blood pressure the doctor came into our room. Well, here's the deal, they proteins in your urine are higher than I have ever seen, especially in a young woman of 20 (I had just turned twenty exactly one month prior). Your blood pressure is tooo high. The weight gain is severe. Blood tests are negative (in my head I am now getting mad, just get to the point....) So I need to do a check...(what! What does this mean a check...) An internal....ok I say!

Well, this guy decides to try and break my waters.......(without so much as telling me) I could lie and say I was calm and ok....But I cannot....I yelled out curse words left right and centre! I was soooo mad! Then he calmly sits down and tells us, that I and the baby are in danger, toxemia.... and the only way to help us is to deliver my baby. In shock...he hands me the note for the maternity nurses.. I will meet you at the hospital, with in the hour. Do not go home go straight in. Stacey....I smile weakly and say no the elevator down to the main floor....I am terrified. I am only 34 baby is not big enough. My babies lungs are not developed.....I am confused....

I pick up the payphone in the Lobby.....
Mom, there's been a wee bit of a problem. They say I and the baby are in danger....toxic......(now the tears are flowing hot, steady stream down my cheeks....)
Stacey, Its gonna be alright. What do they want to do....
They are inducing me, I have a note, orders to go there right now............(now bawling.) Mom....I cant do this. I am not ready. We have no clothes...we have not gotten ready....its toooo sooon!
Stacey, you listen to me its gonna be alright. I am gonna come there right aways. You do what they say. Calm down and relax. I love you.

I get outside, in a panic. I fumble through my purse...thoughts reeling, emotions going on high......I pluck the smoke out of its package (a habit that I could not even break during pregnancy on my own).....I inhale....and start to feel like an outsider watching someone else's life. I read about this in the books. This is dangerous......I am not gonna do it. I am going home...they cannot make me have my baby....irrational I know...but I was soooo scared......

Slowly, I walk the block to the Hospital. The big doors seemed enormous.....up to registration, they are waiting upstairs in maternity for you, a bed is already for you. The nurse smiles....her face looks radiant....I smile but inside I want to scream...This cant be happening I had a good pregnancy up till 4 weeks ago...I barely gained any weight.....I  I I I I.....elevator goes up there's the beep are you ready he says....I say with my mouth yes...inside I am screaming NO!

Here we go.....Hello Stacey we have a bed ready for you, here's your gown.....hooks me up to the monitors. Then the iv' for just an open line. One for the Oxytocin should have contractions soon....this will jump start your body. We are sorry but you may only have water in small quantities...nothing else ok!
Again the radiant smiles, trying to be reassuring.....I am watching....

Three hours..I am in a room with two moms, and their beautiful full term babies. Contractions steady some hard some the blood pressure needs to be managed watched more closely, its getting to high...move me into a private room, nurses, interns, nurses. Now my contractions are getting a wee harder. They are not waiting we must be in full labour soon. Then they put what looks like a tampon on my cervix, don't worry it wont hurt a bit...(right, lies lies lies!)
Wow, contractions so hard with in ten minutes, I cannot catch my breath...I cannot breath the pain is so severe I am thrust into almost sheer madness. I cannot even hear myself think....Please Please
Blood pressure shoots up..Doctors scrambling...I am at the highest dosage safe... They have to do an epidural....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The pain from keeping scrunched is horrid....ahhhhh I can still feel the pain but not as intense...The sun outside my window is gone...Its now thundering, lighting and pouring rain.....I think wow, matches how I feel so perfectly.
Its now almost labour is not progressing.....They will put the thing back on my cervix and increase again my oxytocin. Nothing is working. I feel groggy, loopy....I fall asleep for a short I can feel the contractions they are hard....check, I am dialated only about three or four....

Now its 330am....They need to break my waters.....( what an odd feeling, its like a wellspring that bursts out in a odd I think)......Should be farther along they say...the nurse comes in at about 430am with  a stack of papers... you need to sign theses. They are releases...What I am confused what are they...I don't understand...please call my mom.....
Its 330am in BC, she is asleep...she answers the phone...I am crying I am confused she says its gonna be alright put the nurse on....the nurse decides to take the phone call at the nurses station.....after what seems like an eternity my mom is on the phone. I can hear something wrong..I can hear the quiver in her voice. I ask, mom....She quickly and steady says. I love you, you sign the papers with the X, don't worry. I love you I am on the bus at 730...I am on my way. No matter what know I am there with you and I love you! After I sign the papers, I call again...Mom, what did I sign....
She sighed, quivering voice, a long breath....some were for permission for surgery, some were for not holding the hospital liable.......she takes long breath...the pause was so loud I wanted to scream....Stacey you also signed for the do not resuscitate.....for the save your life first!
I am in utter shock. I am livid....I ask why....
Don't hate me but I know you would have chosen your baby first, any mother would. But my love you can always have another baby. There is only one you. If we lose I hear her voice, she cannot hide her crying. She repeats she loves me...I tell her I love her...hang up the phone and just can she do can I not save my baby....this is serious....I am I could die....

I am really scared room is so dim, I am all alone....the storms still rages, its beating on the window matches the anguish, the angry and the confusion. Apparently the cocktail of all the meds, the epidural and all really makes you mixed up.....

630 am....The doctor comes in. He sits beside me after checkin me out. His face looks ashy, he has a grim face now...something must be really wrong....

At 7 am we will begin prepping you. We put the epidural into your back at 8pm last night, we don't have any longer, we are risking infection, your blood pressure isn't stabalizing even with medication...he clears his throat, (like his words are so foul he has to choke them, almost spewing them out) you are going for an emergency c- have already signed all the paper work, we are going to work as quickly as possible to save you both. We are going to be putting you to sleep. There's no other way....He is not even looking at me now, I feel the tears rolling down like lightening bolts hitting the ground in the middle of the storm. He says I am sorry but this is the safest way. We need to do this....I nod, I say ok, I say I understand....

I am angry, in my head, I am yelling out asking the Universe why why why why...........................

Then at 6:45 am, I get this excruciating pain...I think my catheter has busted, something's wrong....I buzz the button a nurse comes in, I tell her what's wrong she says no worries the nurse is coming to prep you, she will do a thorough check and fix it all up....she is on her way.

She comes in and does a check....her face is in utter shock..I say whats wrong did it rupture something......????????????

She says no, don't move at all or maybe no please roll on to your side...she is now hitting the button on the wall. She smiles and looks at me...We don't need to prep you for emergency...we need to prep you for delivery that is your babies head cause all of that pain...............Doctors flood my room, checking me, machines...the put the machine that hooks up to my heart all the dot things that glue themselves to your chest. They are prepping the neonatal unit at the foot of my bed....I am scared, they are prepping me for the risks...

We need your delivery to go as fast as humanly possible Stacey, you will not be able to hold your baby, the baby may not cry, the baby will need help to breath. We will do everything we can which means the focus on the neonatal team is for the life of your baby. Our teams focus in on saving your life...your blood pressure is above 200/ are at max for meds. We have the anesthesiologist coming to give you an immediate dose through your may not work at all its been in far to you understand....

(Good I understand, its sound like we are both gonna die....its sound like even if I live my baby will die, no I don't freaking understand (insert a lot of curse words) mind you not one word was uttered from my lips, just inside) Yes, I understand.

8 am You have to push Stacey, do not breath do not do anything but push....I cant I cant I cant....(now the doctor was yelling at me, cursing he sounds scared he sounds worried, God am I dying????????)

Get her leg push as far back towards her head as you can go....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh the pain excruciating nauseating what just happened.........and then a release................within moments I heard her cry, loud and proud almost as if to say Mom, I am here...I am here! They put my legs down...the epidural now kicks in...which is good because then that mammoth of a placenta came....almost three times the size of my baby. The terror was in an instant gone...I heard her...before I even saw her I was in love, knowing that this baby was my life. She is, gratefulness....

I wanted a pic of that placenta (at the time my sister was 15 and had an older boyfriend.....I wanted to blow up the pic for her......) What seemed like forever was moments and they asked would you like to meet your daughter? With smiles like the sunrise...but only for a minute they need to take her upstairs...she was placed in my arms. She weighed 4.9lbs so tiny, so fragile, she was covered in the white heart was swelling with love and adoration.

 I looked into her eyes and matter what my love you and I will make it. No matter what! They took her up to neonatal...

Thank you for reading about how my beautiful, gorgeous, God's miracle, a blessing and my first best wonderful child came into this world....

God knew what he was doing, He was giving me all of the evidence...

May you be blessed today and be a blessing to others.
Stacey Homemaker~

Monday, July 8, 2013

I am pregnant and I am not able to cook! LOL

Now you say, nah just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you suddenly lose the ability to cook.

I say Ha, yupp and its me!

Two years ago I was determined to learn how to cook properly, to really have meals that both my children and my husband would love. The kind of meals that my children would remember for ever and a smell when their in the adult ages will bring them back to warm memories of home and of me!

I really could not cook to save my life! LOL! So I got cook books, spent hours of watching amazing cooking shows (from the library, our local Library has saved me thousands of dollars, not only with my homeschooling but with my learning to cook!). I tried recipes and fell in love with the art of cooking! My family liked most of the meals I cooked. They loved the baking!

Then I got pregnant with baby number four and its like no matter how hard I try the recipes are still the same but the end result is not good! yikes...has anyone else ever had it happen to you before.
Where no matter how hard you try the recipes and the actual taste is wayyyyyyyyy off!

Thankfully I am blessed with an amazing husband that loves to cook! So he has been cooking up a storm!

This was the left over mashed potato's from making perogies and oh bad for your health (deep fried) but this preggers mama was in deep fry heaven!

These beautiful crepes made 24 and had our homemade right off our tree cherries. This meal cost us $3.35!

For you see my husband wants to be as frugal whilst still being creative and yummy!

Can you believe it! Rissoto runs soo expensive when you order in a restraunt? But to make it at home for a family of 5 was 15 bucks! Sweet, and to boot all of our children absolutely loved it! Ages almost two, almost four and almost nine!

Arancini Di Riso! These were absolutely devine. Our children loved them and only cost about 15 bucks for the whole dinner!

Our goal is to introduce foods from other cultures and learning where their origins are and how to find the country they are from on the map! It is great fun!

Gajar Ka Halwa, a dessert from Indian, mainly northern. We have missionaries and children we support. This was an amazing dessert, carrots, ghee, almonds! soooooooo goooood!

Now you see, I wasn't always on board with this Hubby cooking, Kids liking it better than mine!
For all intents and purposes, I am the mama, I am supposed to be the great cook! I want them to like mine better. He makes it look so easy, He really can cook better than me, I wish he could just not be so gosh darn good at it......

For you see I am an imperfect wife, and to have my selfish, childish, whinny moments....
God gently nudged me. God gently showed me what a beautiful labour of love this was. God showed me what a gift and a blessing to have a husband that loves me so much, that he would pour in to his food all of his love, adoration and caring.....That I should be grateful. I should be receiving the blessing with thanksgiving and see what a gift it truly is...

And what an amazing break to not have to think, prepare, or clean up after it truly is.

Now ladies, if your man does things, anything that you feel is better and your hearts turning to jealousy, anger, resentment...take it to the Lord for this may to be His way of teaching you!

Praying for an amazing week for you all,
Stacey Homemaker~

Whats in a language Pt 3

Whats in a Language….


Its not how we speak!  Sometimes its in the feeling behind the words. Ever talk to an Elder and listened to their stories….the way their eyes light up, or their voices get louder or softer to really emphasize their point.  The way the hand gestures are? If you have not had the pleasure, you should try it sometimes. I mean really listen, open your heart, your mind and your ears.  Watch, what happens is purely a miracle to behold. Treasure that moment , for all too quick time with our Elders is fleeting and fading….and whom will be there to share the stories, the wisdom, the knowledge of an entire life lived to the fullest?

When I was a little girl, I had a Papa, he wore a cowboy hat faithfully everyday (even when he napped!) He had cowboy boots on and the jeans with suspenders. He was magnificently tall, he hung the moon and the stars in my little grandbabies eyes. I sat at his feet while he played his guitar and harmonica(which was attached to the top of his guitar) and sang. I still remember the sound of his voice, and the smell of the room and the feel of the songs. This is how his legacy lives on in me. I learned to play the guitar. I learned to sing. I knew that what ever I learned I wanted to share with my children.

Well, this past year has been a whirl wind of learning, frustrations, hurt feelings and Lord knows….anger!

I was so excited because this year an amazing Elder and a good friend of mine were teaming up to do a preschool language program. (Because we homeschool this meant that myself, my 8 yr old, my 3 yr old and 1 yr old would be participating) Also on Mondays and Tuesdays in the Fall was Language class and guess what my husband attended them with us!

I was sooo excited to start. First, I had to get a Statutory Declaration signed my my biological mom. You see I was starting all of the paper work to get my Status. The little white card that tells you what band you belong to, and that says Hey you are Native! Yuppers here we go!

She refused to sign it, she needed to sign it because my dad was never placed on my birth certificate. It was an emotionally draining situation that blew up my a thousand percent each moment. A drama that could surpass any on television.  Albeit, she has her own personal reasoning, it was hard to walk through and harder because it left a lot of questions of the paternity and if the man I have know as my dad (for 28years) was my dad. It was a very hard, emotional situation. God, was my focus because without my faith in Him and what was to be would be…..I might have had some other things that happened.  At times, the hurt would spill into an anger that consumed my heart, it made me want to lash out at her. It made me so tired, drained, it made me feel like I belonged nowhere. God gently kept telling me that I was I was His daughter and He had it in His Will.

Now, let me tell you. Although, I knew for better or worse God had His ways and reasons……this sent me for a hard hit. I felt lost, looking at my dad, at my family members, the resemblance’s I had once seen so clearly were hazy. Like it was murky water that I couldn’t quite see the same as the clear crystal blue they were before.  I was afraid, afraid that a man I grew up with, lived with , fought with, respected and loved, a man that I so knew was my dad, our tempers, how we talk, how much we talk! All of these things were in question. I had been living in our sweet gorgeous valley, for two years! Two years pouring into our language, learning our culture, meeting cousins, auntys, uncles, friends.  Don’t get me wrong, it was not wasted time. It was cherished moments, and loved moments. But if I was a LSIB what was I?

I also, started having weird memories flooding over me, dreams that felt soo real. Memories I had long since forgotten and pushed aside. I had a very hard growing up. There  were good times but a lot of scary, angry hateful, spiteful moments. These were consuming my sleep.

My husband and I talked about it, prayed about it and decided to lay to rest. We got a DNA test. Now just so anyone else out there knows these tests are not cheap. It cost us $700 just for a scrape of the inside of my cheek and my dads. Yes, I know there is a lot involved with this process but it cost us a lot of money. It was worth it. To know for sure that my dad is my dad! It gave me clarity and although it didn’t stop the emotional rollercoaster I had been riding it did give closure to a question that he had kept locked away in his heart for all these years as well!

Now for applying to become a First Nations Status Card holder……ugh and sigh and allot of praying! They tell us, that the DNA is not good enough! That I must have my birth certificate changed over to have my dad added.  So we think sweet simple I have my dna test this should be a breeze…think again! Stats Can will only change the Live Birth Registration to add my dad if my mother signs the documentation. Which, she refused to sign anything! So we hired a lawyer (just to let you know, no we are not made of money but we felt that this was an investment in our family!) so we buckled down and didn’t spend money on anything that we didn’t 100% need! We had been blessed so that it wasn’t such a harsh burden! The lawyers says that INAC cannot do that. They cannot legally require a birth certificate, that a DNA test is admissible as one in the same with my birth certificate.  So, we called to see if we could go around all of this, turns out we can pay to go to the court house and see a judge explain situation and prove our case and have him stamp the birth certificate…..we don’t have money for that. We have three children at that time and really couldn’t do it. So we researched and talked to the lawyer. For all legalities the INAC cannot legally refuse the dna test. So we submitted anyways!

Then the waiting game….

During this waiting, we had the priviledge of learning our language! I learned from an Elder that sometimes its ok to not have a regular school type setting. My 3 yr old son would not sit in circle and just wanted to play. This beautiful woman told me to let him….boy oh boy it took a lot for me to do that! And you know what she was right….he learned more language from osmosis than anything! It made my heart sing! My Elder is a beautiful woman, I enjoyed sitting on the floor and listening to her teach and gleaning and learning! I learned more than a language, more than a culture I learned a love for people and a love for my life. I believed God gifted her to me at the right exact moment.

My dear friend, she is an amazing teacher. She helped me learn to calm down, to soak it in and to let things happen. She has six children all under the age of 14. She is a super hero mom. She worked along side of this beautiful Elder and I tell ya I was gifted an education of language and an education of motherhood, compassion, love and determination. This education is far more precious than anything I have ever learned in school! For you see my dear friend, although I know she is a closet superhero, she is a normal mom, good days, bad days amazing days! I have been blessed to get to know  her and learn from her. All at a time where I felt I was a failure in so many ways! God gifted me amazing women, mothers, grandmothers….friends and He knew that I needed them.


I also was gifted the opportunity to learn how to make traditional ribbon shirts, moccassins, and yarn bags for berry picking! We had so much fun! We forged friendships with other moms, and I tell ya nothing surpasses the laughs, the smiles and the amazing time we all had!

For you see a language is nothing without the people in which speak it. A people is not really a people without the love, laughter, faith, confidence, strength of who they are!

I am a born again Christian, I love my faith!

I am a Lower Similikamean Native woman! I love where I came from!


I will teach my children about God, about Christ and along side it all I will teach them of their heritage, language, culture! I will teach them to love others, to serve others, to be kind and to always always help when you can. No matter who the people are! For God called us to love one another, not just those you think deserve it! He called us to love one another and to serve in love! Forever my children will learn from example and from what we do.

Go listen to your Elders, hear with your heart, visualize the story. Fall in love!

Another post, will be my status situation for now, learn your heritage, learn your language! Learn Learn Learn!

Praying that this post encouraged!

Stacey Homemaker~

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Parenting From the Heart, written by Marilyn Boyer (BOOK REVIEW)

Good Tuesday Morning Everyone,

Hoping that each of you had a fabulous weekend, if your from Canada a Happy belated Canada Day to you all, and if your from the USA then an Early Happy Fourth of July!

I was honored and privileged to be selected to review a book from a wonderful author. A little background of how I came across this author, her family, her business/ministry.....

A year ago a dear dear friend of ours from our church that we love so very very much in Maple Ridge, BC (Fraser Valley Baptist) gave me a workbook on the book of Proverbs. I loved it so very much that I told my husband that the next years ordering for Homeschool I will have to research other workbooks like it. You see I had already pre ordered for this present year.

So this year before pulling out my list, I started researching and I was amazed at this family's dedication to the Lord, for their convictions and for their God gifted talent for writing amazing material that is so unique and so educational and specifically written with God first.

So now that I gave you my introduction to the how's lets see what this book is all about......
First of all, I am one that no matter what I believe that God uses so many different avenues to speak to each of us in different ways and when we need it the most. I also firmly believe that not one single person is a perfect parent or perfect person. We all are human beings, we all have flaws and we all will fall short at one point or another. I believe its what you do with that particular knowledge that will make you a better parent and a better. I believe in always always reading, reading material that is going to give you a real perspective and also lines up with your beliefs and your home.
Remember not everything is going to work, but you take what you can and you try. Your children will always see that you want to always learn and align your lives with your own convictions and beliefs!
Parenting from the Heart, is a real book, about a real family, with real struggles and with real hardships! A great loss within family, great joy, great faith and a great ability to have faith and learn and walk on!
I found that upon reading the pages, the words jump off and into my heart, as if God guided Marilyn's hand in writing just for me, just for my struggles, just for my situations! The chapters are wonderfully written and smoothly transition from one to the next with ease. As a woman, as a wife, as a mother  and as a homeschooling mama/teacher, I found this book soooo helpful and relieving. I laughed, I burst into tears, I felt sorrow, pain and the Lords love through each page. I felt renewed and that I really can do this. Sometimes us, mama's get tired or frustrated and God gives us a book like this to encourage, strengthen and showcase that He is there and He holds us dear!
I needed to read this book, I loved this book, and I have to say that it helped me so very much. I will say no more than that for I believe this book and this amazing Sister in Christ, speak volumes for themselves.
I pray that you are able to read this book, and that it is as uplifting and encouraging to you as it was to me.
 I would like to add, I have in no way been paid for this review. I received the book and a worksheet in exchange for my review. The opinions I have shared are 100% my own and how I personally feel!
Have an amazing and spaztastic week,
Stacey Homemaker~